What would you do?

What would you do if you saw me?
Would you yell and scream,
Or walk away.
Would you ask me how I am,
or simply pretend you didn't see me.
Would you wonder why I'm smiling from ear to ear,
or just think how I've ruined your day.
Would you want to explain to me why you lied,
or run because you know, i know you did.

What would I do if I saw you?
Would I yell and scream,
or say hello.
Would I want to know what changed,
or just simply laugh at your immaturity.
Would I want to say Im sorry,
or have I already done that.
Would I thank you for shattering my heart,
because you did.

I don't know what I'd do.
I would not cry like the last time,
and realize I wasn't healed.
Because now, I am.
HE mended it.
HE let me love again.

And I am blissfully happy <3

So thank you ex boyfriend
for shattering me.
I will say hello the next time I see you,
because I know,
You weren't the man
I was suppose to be with.

The downfall of us all.

It's you, you and you. How should I think it could be any different?

You left me alone in the dark, you left me alone to cry. Im stumbling around, fumbling, alone, not knowing where to go. Thinking you would come back, and being sorely mistaken. Getting over you, and still letting you get to me. This is it, this is the end. Where do I go from here?

You come at me with judgement and distaste, and leave me with doubt and regret. I need to get out, I need to be free, but how do I do that without losing you in the process? your anger pushes me away so quick.. Stop before you loose me quicker.

You. I can't get you out of my head, and i am falling deeper. I can't go down this road, not again. When will someone like me? When will someone want me. Do you? Do you want me? I couldnt believe I'd felt what I did when you said.. What you said. How was that possible? And unlocking you is like unlocking a safe. But will I like what I find if I open it?


You, You and You. You will be the downfall of me.

1st, 2nd, 3rd.

I'm sick of being everybody's second choice. My whole life I have settled for being being 2nd or 3rd. 2nd daughter, 3rd best friend. and the only person that put me 1st, above himself, I let go. I try so hard to please those who don't put me first, I lost him. He was the first to ever be my friend, to look to me for advice... And when I need his hugs and kisses, I feel even worse knowing that he has someone else.


No other guy has ever looked at me first. I'm the friend, the secret, the one night stand because the girl you really want isn't ready.. Or even worse - the "we'll see.." line. I'm over it. I don't want to be someone's 2nd choice anymore. I want a guy that will take me out, tag me on Facebook and be fucking proud of it, not worried about what others will think. I'm not going to be the "inside joke" between you and your friends, because they think I'm oh so in love with you. News flash: I'm not.

Angry rant over, but it doesn't change the fact I'm never first -.- ... When will that change?!

Hiding.

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do, to make the situation better.
I don't understand what happened, I don't understand what changed.
If I said something wrong, call me out. If you got what you wanted, then tell me your leaving.
If you found someone better...

Come to the beach.
Forget all your problems.
Listen to the laughter and wash your cares away.
Let the sun shine and sink into the skin and remember me just once.

Blossom and bloom in the springtime sun,
Hide in the shade of the umbrella.
Dream about tomorrow
smile for yesterday,
And bathe in the warm moonlight.

The tingle of the first touch,
The butterflies before the kiss,
The wait for the text,
The anxiety for the reply.
When will I feel it again,
Why did you find it so quick?

I want to find him. And I want it to be remarkable.

Confusion.

Every girl is self conscious in some respect.. It's a given.. A girl that has just had her heart ripped out of her chest even more so. You think that a guy would understand that. But maybe this is my flaw; expecting too much. expecting that you will understand, that you would want to care. It's so hard to know why u stop talking, thinking that you don't care anymore.. Maybe I'm just over reacting, but is it too much to ask for some reassurance that its okay that I'm self conscious? Is there some group that I'm suppose to know about that deals with boy-girl etiquette?!

losing memories.

Take a step back, and breath a little. 

Give it time and let the air rest. 

Craziness and torture will not make it better, or make the issure resolved. 

The truth is more complicated than just black and white.

You wonder and your beauty,

are lost on the thoughts of a boy.

To want and to have are two separate things,

and to feel special is something else entirely.

Curiosity.

I want to know it all.
I want to know all the bad things, all the good things, everything.
I want to know about all the girls...
I want to know if I'm the exception.

Is that too much to ask for?